HEART OF THE WAY
By
Cho-Getsu
No matter where I
shine a light in on my life, I see something fundamental, a spiritual
rootedness. For periods I have forgotten this goodness —this Buddha Nature —
but something always takes me back. Early spiritual training came being raised
Catholic in a big family. It was fortunate for me that family life was infused
with the sacred.
The early loss
of my father oriented my attention outward, greatly affecting how I continued to
be in the world, and I did often need something true to come back to. When I was (or did) good, I was noticed and felt good, gaining some illusion that I could control outcomes by acting a certain way and trying hard. Once on my own, free from religious and parental guideposts, a new independence allowed me to succeed or to fall, get up, reroute and keep going. Learning on my own didn’t always pan out so well.
Without searching,
I found Quakers. “That of God within” fit better and grounded me again. I was
married there, nestled in arms of the rocky Downeast coast, family who
supported despite reservations, and a spiritual community I never expected to
leave. Sunday morning’s quiet contemplation until one is “moved to speak”
resonated better than an authoritative God-figure. I quickly fell into “true”
and blossomed there, enhanced by the raising of two children and a simple life.
Discovering the good inside was a boost I’d need before marital struggles led
us to Vermont, where I’d again try navigating on my own. Comfort was found in a
small Methodist church community, but it felt more like Linus’s blanket, and
I’d eventually give it up for something to carry inside me.
Untying the marital
knot led me to meditation with the goal of calming my mind and finding
equanimity. It gave me a needed resilience. New gates appeared when I chose to
study the Buddha Way. The gate opened to
India where I’d attend the Dalai Lama’s public teaching of The Bodhisattva’s
Way of Life. Benefiting all beings
became my aspiration. His Holiness’s words “NEVER GIVE UP” are right here when
health and emotional challenges come up, and I’m reminded they too are the
path. When I returned, instead of settling into the Mahayana lineage at
Milarepa, I discovered a little Japanese temple down the road from me, Shao Shan Temple. A small blanket’s comfort and the
expansiveness of travel gave way to the inner solace found when I let myself
rest in the arms of Buddha. I discovered I can tap into and hold the universe
in my hands with a trusted teacher guiding and sangha inspiring me to live by
vow.
There have been
many gates along the Way that have taken me through obstacle to
opportunity. I attended Shao Shan’s
first study group and never stopped, said yes to the spontaneous invitation to
join the first temple trip to Japan, and became one of Taihaku’s first
students. I became a sewing guide under
Kenzan’s tutelage and would
help sew Taihaku’s Mountain Seat robe (see photo above) and guide new students
of the Way to make their own robes. And I was wed to David by Taihaku.
